the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
