I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
