make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize