I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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