he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
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Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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