How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This is my gift to your gina
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
