You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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