Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
