It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
