I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize