you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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