How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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