Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
