Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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