I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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