quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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