escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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