I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
