He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sorry about my life...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
