Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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