I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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