I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize