yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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