You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
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I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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