You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
