Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
