I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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