I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
