we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
