so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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