forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she looked like the before picture.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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