so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
