Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
