I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
