wake up i wanna do it froggy style
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
