He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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