so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
