Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
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This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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