Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
