Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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