anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
