piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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