I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
