I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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