your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
