RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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