where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
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a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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