I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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