I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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