All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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