hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
