New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize