My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
