Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
