is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
