I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
even my farts smell like vagina
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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