dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize