Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
