In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
