Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize