So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
