Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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