Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
