He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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